Let's Get Physical with Kristin McGee: How to stay active and healthy as a single parent

Lili and Scott are joined by Pilates and Yoga expert (and fellow single parent) Kristin McGee to talk all about fitness and health. They discuss how it's never too late to start working out, the best ways to motivate when you're exhausted all the time, and the true secret to sticking with it. 

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Transcript

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Good morning. Lily. Hi, Scott. How are you? I'm excited. We have a special guest today. Kristen McGee, who's a world renowned pilot, is instructor and yoga instructor. An old friend of mine. I've known her for years and also a single parent. So she's here today to talk about how to stay fit while being a crazed single parent. Which, of course begs the question, did I work out this morning? The answer is no. I even made my son, like, move everything out of the way because I workout like in the living room and he has Legos everywhere, and I made him clean it up. I was so, like, strict with him. I'm like, move it all out of the way. And then he moved everything and then I didn't do it. I mean, a for effort. Is that an effort? We're going to be talking to someone today who would not give that an A for effort. She would give that a B for bullshit. I mean, I feel like mentally preparing is often it's half the battle. I the battle is it. We both need this. Can I tell you this? Nothing that I've thought about. Like as we're preparing to talk to Kristen today, it's like the amount of forgiveness you have to have for yourself when you don't do something one time doesn't mean you're not going to do it again in the future. I forgive you. All right, well, that's. Not your. Saying into it, but not it's not my fail. This is. We have another fail. Yeah. Let's get this show started. I'm Lily, single mom to teen twins. Father. I'm recording in. Here and I'm Scott, single dad to a pre-teen boy. Yeah, it's under the sink. We're two old friends trying to navigate single parenting. And spending the whole time thinking, I hope I don't fuck this up. So we have as our guest today, Kristen McGee, former flight instructor, yoga mentor to the world. And, fitness queen. I've known her a long time, and she's always someone that I have looked up to. She is this amazing way of bringing, sort of light and positivity to other people. She's a great motivator. And so I was very excited. I invited her on, and for some bizarre reason, I. She must have been drunk. She said yes. And so she is here with us today. Kristen, welcome. Thank you. Scott, I love how you said I was a former Pilates instructor. I still teach Pilates, but I wasn't for more powerful. An instructor. And I did Pilates and meditation and yoga and pre postnatal and a bunch of stuff on the peloton platform, but I'm still teaching all of those off the platform. So wonderful to be here, and I love that you created this space to work out this morning. And at least you set the intention. That. They'll be clear after this, and you'll be able to jump down on the floor and do some, some ab work or something with me. And I think important for everybody to know, to like Kristen is also part of our single parent demographic, so she understands some of the struggles. That's right, that's right. So I have, you know, as we often mentioned, I have a almost 11 year old boy. Lily has 17 year old twins, boy and a girl. Kristen, what kids do you have? What are your. Kids? I had no idea. Lily has twins as well. I have 11, I love that, yes, I'm an 11 year old and seven year old twins, and they're all boys. And so for me, I was up at I usually get up around 545 and I do a meditation, and I did my yoga practice this morning before they all woke up, which is really the only time I can sneak in my workouts these days. I know not everyone loves to wake up at five a. M I don't know. I went to bed at 5 a.m. I mean, I'm not even joking. Netflix. Last night I went to bed and I went to bed at 5 a.m. so as you were starting up, I was winding down. Well, well, we're going to start off talking about our parenting phase of the week, because I feel like I need a little bit of forgiveness. And please, Kristen, if you if you have one, we are happy to forgive. Lily is especially good at forgiving. Well, mine is, mine is rough. It's a rough one in that it's sometimes the hard thing when you are dating somebody new who has kids is you have to remind yourself that your son is going to be threatened by that, that your children will be threatened by that. And, my son has definitely been a little threatened by me dating. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year, and she's got two kids, and she has one kid is very close to to my son at age, but her son, is odd, which is oppositional. It's it's you take the oppositional position and you like, you try to get attention through negativity and negative actions and stuff. When he acts out, you have to treat it differently. You can't punish him the way you would punish somebody else because he wants that. That's positive reinforcement. That's an attention. So instead you have to ignore everything that he does, which is very difficult to do as an adult and almost impossible to do as a ten year old. Right. And so we were at it's due Leonard's and he called my son something really mean. And, and he did it to like, get a response. And I didn't I was told not to react, so I didn't react. And I, you know, we I did everything you're supposed to do for him. And then when we got home, my son was so mad at me, he's like, why didn't you back me up? Do you care about, you know, their kids more than me. And and he was 100% right, because the bit that I was so busy trying to do something that I'm supposed to do for, you know, for my girlfriend's son that I forgot that from his point of view, he just sees himself not being defended. And, I, we talked about it and went over everything, and we're in a better place now. But that that was I felt awful, like. Yeah, you know, like it. You get so solicitous of your of your new, partner's kids and their affections that you can sometimes forget about. You're out. Not only that, but I think it's often easier to be neutral about somebody else's kid, even if it wasn't your girlfriend. Like, the kind of response that you give is sometimes more level and metered and, like, doing that to somebody else's kid and maybe reacting to that kid in a different way. It's hard for your own kid to be like, wait, wait. If I did that, you would have totally. Oh, Debbie with that? Oh yeah. I wasn't crazy because the the, her son curses a lot. That's part of his thing. And, he does it to get a reaction, you know? So, Lily, he's kind of like you. Yeah, that's a good. Sailor mouth like me. I'm sailor mouth like you. But I don't allow cursing in my house, and I don't let my son curse. And so he's like, how come he used F-word? I'm not allowed to use the F-word. I'm like, yeah, I guess you're not allowed to use the F-word. So it's also the different rules for different people. You know, like you said, if you if what you try to do after with like, a I'm so proud of him for bringing it up to you instead of just dealing with rage, which is what I would have done as a. Shut up. But also bring it up for you and then you talking about it. I think it's like it's it's I'm sure it was hard for him. But there is, you know, different people will get treated differently and need to be treated treated differently in this world. And like, you know, that's not a lesson to protect him from either. I'm sure it hurt, but like, yeah, it you know, there's nothing I think that you could have done better other than try to like, fix it in the moment or explain to him outside of the context of the situation, which you did. Well, it was the immediacy, I think was the bit where I, I think I messed up, I didn't he had to bring it up to me. And yeah, honestly, for any, you know, most as anyone with kids out there, most kids would not. I mean, my son's been in therapy because of our divorce for a long time now. So he has a few tools. Yeah, that a lot of kids don't have, but I should have immediately put it into context for him, and I did. What will you do differently the next time this happens? Because shortly, I. Think, and it happens all the time. One well, what am I going to do? That's a good question. I know we'll let you think about that. Let me think about that. But in the meantime, I think that's you're totally forgiven. Like, it's just, you know, we we do the wrong thing in the moment all the time. But like we've said, like, time and time again, like being able to repair it, being able to address it after the fact, doing it calmly, like having that kind of rational conversation about it like that is the parenting when like, you didn't fail there. Thank you. It always feels good. It's funny, like I put this in because I'm like, oh, what a fun format. And then every time I get forgiven, I feel better. Yeah. Funny too. Yeah. No, it really does help. Yeah I so I always encourage like, you know, this is a, this is something that's good. And you're like, you know, for our listeners and your groups that you're in, hopefully you're in some kind of support, whether it's your friends, whether it's a Facebook group, whatever it is like, don't be afraid to peel away and say these things that you may feel awful about because it drains it when other people put it into perspective for you, like. Yeah, Scott always wants to fix everybody. So that's his tip. But I think this is a good example of the combination. Like you want to forgive people. And I think that just hearing other people's being in the same situation is the thing that makes you feel better. So like he you're totally right like that. Talking about it helps. Well, let's say so. Lily, our Kristen, if you have something you want to get off your chest. Well, I think it's a similar thing. I feel what you were saying with your, girlfriend's son or, you know this, I have twins, and one is very boisterous and very strong. And so if he defends himself, it's always like ten times worse than his brother, who is a little more chill, but he actually still does incite his brother as well. So it's like I tend to end up unfortunately yelling more at my, you know, it's like the squeaky wheel gets the grease, like the one who ends up actually hurting the other more because he's just stronger. And he just flat out like, boom, you know, you're going to take this. I'm going to boom where the other one will try and slap him. And it's still bad because he's slapping. I mean, he shouldn't, but it doesn't hurt or sting the way the other one. So it's like, I have to be very good at trying to, like, mediate the two and hearing both of their sides and disciplining the one as much as the other, so that because he was like, you love him more than me, you're always yelling at me. And I felt so bad. And I'm like, no, I love you all equally. There's no way I could love anyone more than anyone else. And I'm sorry that I end up over faulting him. It's really it's hard because usually, unfortunately, it's the other one who gets hurt worse just because of the way they're built and their strengths. And you know, so it's like really also trying to catch it before it happens. Like I'll hear it and I'll I'll see it start to bubble and I'm like, ding, why didn't I get there in time to, you know, cool the fire. But it's really hard. That's so exhausting. You said you have two sets of twins. Are one set to have. An old they have an older brother. So they're 11. Your brother and then the two boy twins. So it's all boys. It's a lot of energy. Yeah, they're awesome. And they do really well. I think they they really don't fight as especially as much as they used to. They've gotten really good at communicating, but unfortunately when they do, the one is so much stronger than the other that it kind of becomes that like, see, you know. Yes. But I and the thing they don't you don't think about when you're a single parent, it's like you usually have someone who can maybe point this out to you or can, like, back you up on it, and instead how that mental energy of second guessing yourself or trying, like you're saying, like I like you're you're always allowed to not do it perfectly and not like, you know, catch yourself beforehand and stuff. Because I feel like that. It's like, how did I not know? Why didn't I prepare correctly? It's like, yes, who has the energy to be able to, like, perfectly prepare for your interactions every day. Like mind reader, anticipate every single thing like it's and you got the numbers like we've got one, two and three kids. And I feel like that too. I'm just okay. It like being a referee. I can't imagine the numbers. Speaker three how do you deal three boys? Like, is this why you're exercising all the time? So do you have any physical strength to handle all three of those? And I'm super lucky because I noticed that, you know, when we were talking about workout and working out and mental and physical health, they helped me stay on top of my game. Because even on the days when I might not get in as much of my exercise exercises, I would like to. They were in a one mile run yesterday and I did the run with them. Or they loved to like go in the backyard and kick a soccer ball. Or when we go to the playground, I'm like trying to do pull ups with them. And Robert's up like, why can't you do a pull up? Mom, let me show you how, you know. So I think it's like they keep me also physically active, which is great. Yeah. We used to say about ours when they were like toddlers. We need to get out. Get them outside and run them like dogs. They just needed the like for their mental health and for those they just needed. You need to get it out now. You got to I don't for some reason my son doesn't quite like as he'll play Minecraft all day long and it's fine. I don't know why. Yeah, I don't have the same the same issue, but maybe because he's an only child and he doesn't. He doesn't have anyone to feed off but my slacker ass energy. But, but I don't I don't I don't know how you guys. I mean. He just has a calm demeanor. It's just a different person. You say I have a calm demeanor. Not, you know, not. Me. Because I'm. Freaking out left and right now. He has a calm demeanor. But, you know, I'm. Not like my. Older son. Yeah, my oldest one. More that way as well. He loves to do video games. He'll be active, but it's not as big as in with him as it is with my twins. Yeah, well, I'm I'm sure those twins like the energy feeds off each other. Shows that energy is crazy. It's just looks so exhausting. I don't I don't envy either. Yes. Yeah. You're like yes, thank you represent millions. So speaking of the, you know, having remove all the Legos and then create a space for you to work out. Where do you think you messed that opportunity to actually do, say, 5 or 10 minutes? Was it like you were just like, nah, I really don't want to. Was it a time thing? Do you think it's more of a mental obstacle or. I have an answer? I, I'm a similar thing. You know, I'm normally like what I do in the morning is like, I get up early so I can unless I do something early, it's not going to get squeezed into the rest of the day because I get more tired as the day goes on until I also like wake up. I. I do a super long walk in the morning before I even get to work and like that gets my head straight, which is the one thing that I've been able to maintain over the past like 8 or 10 years is like super walking. But on weekends, like today, we, you know, we took the kids out, do a movie last night, and we were up until one in the morning and I knew we had this. And I set my alarm for early so that I could get up and like, get in the short, you know, something beforehand before I sat down again. But I always choose sleep over anything else, like if I have to, like if my day isn't built so that I have to like, I have to do it now or it's not going to get done. I will often choose rest. I know that I feel like kind of lazy to admit that, but that's what it is for me. No, and I'm going to forgive you now for that, because that is not a fail. I often think that people forget that, you know, rest is actually part of your, workout regimen. If you don't have built in rest days, your body's just going to, you know, get too fatigued and you definitely need sleep to recover. Yeah. So sleep is part of your wellness tools. I think that sleep is extremely important. And maybe that was Scott's, problem even this morning. Like if you went to bed at 5 a.m. and you're up at eight and you only had three hours of sleep, then that place on the floor, whether it's clear or not, is never going to be in writing, because your body's just going to be like, dude, I am tired. Yeah. So it might just be for you, like trying to set your bedtime back, you know, start with 30 minutes every night until you get back to, like, a little bit more of a normal bedtime routine, because then that routine will set you up for having more energy, and then you have more energy. You're able to work out. And when you work out, you actually sleep better. So it's like this nice cycle that you set yourself up for success. So I think the sleeping in when you need to is not an end all be all. But I also do think it's nice to try. And if you have a consistent bedtime wake time workout schedule during the week, then you're doing great. You know you're doing that during the week. You're waking up, you're walking. Give yourself a little grace on the weekend. As you you know, as you work with people and try to help them manage. You know, I know you work with people directly, but I'm sure you help them set up scheduling and stuff like that, especially. I know you have celebrity clients and stuff like that. People that have to do it, you know, and sometimes when you have to do it, it becomes the chore. And like, how do you instill the want to do it versus the have to do it because we all know we have to do it. But how do you transform that into I want to do it too. Oh, very good question. Because for me, seriously, I want to workout like I love it. I look forward to it. It's my favorite thing to do. It's my favorite time of day. If I could have more time to do it, even I would. And I think it's maybe I've started to really just. I built such a long time practice that I am very intuitive about what my body needs and wants, and so it feels good every time I do it. Like I don't force myself to go on a run on the days that I'd prefer to do yoga. But like, to your point, I know that a couple days a week I should probably get some cardio in. So those are the days that I have to spike myself up more. But afterwards I always feel better. So I think listening I try and meet my clients where they're at and listen to what it is that really makes them feel good. So it becomes more of a treat and less of a chore. And then building just those extra. It's like even at home, we always have those chores where we have to clean the house, we have to do the laundry, the things we don't really love. But as long as you're treating yourself with things in addition to it that make you feel good, then you just work it into your schedule. You work it into your life. Well, I will say for me, like the the, you know, there's drama my whole life. There's like exercises or workouts or things that I did because like, that was like the near the trendy thing. But it wasn't until, like, I found that, like, I could walk, I can easily walk for like 5 to 10 miles a day and like, it's something that I can maintain. But the reason that I started is because I was starting to like it was the year I turned 40. We had like, you know, family health crisis we had. My marriage was like starting to crack. And I thought, if I don't do something, I'm going to have to go on medication. Not that anything is wrong with going on medication, but what I wanted to try first was like to change some things about my life. And it truly is as like I'm not you like I am not the lady like looks forward to exercising or like, you know, gets like excited about it. But the thing that happened when I started working out and like prioritizing, like how does this make me feel had that good genuinely is like, oh, I'm positive. Me and the other day about the workout girls are right again with that thing. When you exercise and your mental health feels better and your body feels better, like it sucks, but like it's fucked like that. That's what happened for me, is that now I look at it as like less. I am doing this for like the fitness of my body and more so the fitness of my brain, because that it was life altering. Yeah, you hit the the nail on the head because I feel like once people start to find the intrinsic value behind movement as opposed to the external results, yeah, you're much more likely to stick with it when you start to keep tabs of your mental state how you feel. Is your mood you know better? Are you sleeping better? Are you? Do you start to eat better naturally because your body is just craving healthier foods? So those are all those intrinsic things that you you feel good as opposed to like, oh, do my jeans fit better or do I look like this? Like the like, you know, you kind of have to stop comparing the outside and do do it for the inside like it's working in. And as opposed to working. Out totally. Nice. Yeah. Oh, nice. Well, I it's, it's funny because, like, you know, I didn't work out for a long time until, you know, I worked out in my 20s, we worked together back when I was in my 20s. And so that was like the last time I did workout. And then. And then when I got, you know, separated. Sorry to get divorced. That was like, when the impetus to change things, just like with you lately. And it's interesting that, for single parents or parents that are people that going through divorce, it's such a way to take control of your life that is out of control. And like, you know, we talked about this being physical and mental and they're all the same. They are, you know, this is a mental health need. And it's funny, I didn't realize how important it was to my mental health until I started doing it. And it took me a while to really do it regularly until I had a girl make me, which is really how you get me to do anything you should. And then and what was funny was that, and Chris and, you know, this story, but like, you know, I started dating this woman who, like, follows peloton, you know, every day she goes and does something. Every day she's like, so you come do it with me. And I'm like, all right, that's great. And then I turn it on. And who do I see? But Kristen. No way. Yeah. Yeah. And I had talked to you and maybe like 6 or 7 years maybe. And there you are doing and and and I'm like, oh look, it's Kristen. And my girlfriend was like, you know Kristen I'm like, do I. Are you very. I am very cool what it did for me mentally to have that, that goal and to have that community too, is the other thing that I think is interesting about your exercise is that it also brings community, which is such a big part of your mental health. So like like Kristen, what kind of communities do you see really work built up? I connect with you and the two points that you made. One is the mind body connection. And that's what we talk about often in yoga, Pilates, or even, you know, when you're mindfully walking or running about connecting your mind and your body and staying really present. And that's so good for your physical and your mental state. And then when you connect with yourself, it you're it's easier to connect with others. And you connect with others on the things that you are very passionate about. So I've definitely found I ran my first marathon ever in April in London, and I was like, I'm going to hit a certain. And that was kind of a similar, you know, doing something for myself after going through a really arduous, like three year divorce that was mentally and physically exhausting. And so I'm like, let's just exhaust myself even more. I'm only 20 to 32 miles. No kidding. But it was like one of these things in ways for me to, like, test my strength and and prove to myself that I can get through hard things. And so I think the run clubs were very, important to me during that time, finding someone to run with, having a run buddy, because I'm definitely not going to go to Central Park and run ten miles on my own. So I had a colleague who had also worked at peloton, and she had left, and so she and I would meet in Central Park and she would be kind of my motivator. And she had run marathons in the past or every time I posted on my social media. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just ran X amount of miles. I'd have a lot of support and a lot of people saying yes, you got that? You can do it. I knew people were going to be following me along the race. I didn't realize that people can like, look at your number and see where you are as you're running, you know? But I'm like, dang, people are counting on me to finish this marathon. I'm going to do it. So I think that's where it's really helpful to have the community. And then I've noticed since I've been away from peloton and I'm back in person at some studio locally, being with people in a yoga studio is super nice. People love that connection. You're with each other, you're all breathing together. I love to get the hands on adjustments. I think there's just something really special now, especially after Covid. I think that I'm such a true Gen Xer that I have the almost the opposite. Reaction to being together. Like, I take my time as, like the time that I'm at, I'm alone. Like, not that I discount any of that community stuff. Like, all of that sounds really, really lovely, but I think it's I it feels like a treat to me now, like the time when I and in fact, I read it when somebody texts me if I'm out working out, I don't want to. Like here will work email ding in my ear I like I take that time to like listen to podcasts and and read. Well I call it it's. I listen to books like it's where I have. I don't have time to sit down or read a book anymore because I've got, you know, full time job, a side job now in podcasts on the weekends, like there's no time. So that is like where I find that like the solitude it for it and it's, you know, that I don't have lost my books in general. Yeah. But that's that's nice too, I think. Yeah. Well it shows how elastic this need is, right. It's, you know, it's it, it can conform to whatever your mental health needs are. You know, if your mental health needs your time for yourself, then it's that walk. If it's community, then it's the yoga class. If it's if it's feeling like you're part of something bigger, it's like, you know, my the peloton. Yeah, something like peloton or something like the Kristin McGee movement or something like, you know, these these what I really like about that kind of thing is that it's it's not just being with people. It's that motivation and encouragement because I need that. Like, I'm someone, as you can probably tell. Yeah, no courage man. And no, it I think knowing that about yourself like what kind of person you are well should also factor into like what can I do for myself if it's like Scott, who you know, needs a community, or like Crystal, who needs a community like great like take your community where, where you can and get it there, get the support and the friendship. But do you ever include your kids? Yes, I hope you. I don't know if you hear that running around and. Oh, we hear them. We will welcome like the crazy boys, the crazy. But I did it a lot. Especially when they were younger. They would do a lot of mommy and me yoga, and I would do a lot of yoga and meditation with them. I feel like now that they're really interested in their own sports activity, like to ski Roberts into soccer and like Ninja Warrior type stuff. William, let's do golf and play tennis. So I feel like now that they're really focused on their own individual sports, it's less of a need of me sitting and doing yoga with them, but I always try and remind them of the benefits that yoga can even help with their sports that they're doing. For sure. And just tying the whole mental, physical aspect of everything. Yeah, there's a way to connect with your kids. I find, like the I started doing the strength like the, the, you know, doing the, lifting and, you know, but but just free weights. And my son saw it and he's like, I want to be ripped. I'm like, I'd love for you to be read, too. So he got next to me and he grabbed one, and I grabbed one and were both curling and then after two seconds, he got bored and went back to playing with Legos, but still for for a few seconds, we were like, lifting body level. And then I'm like, hey, spot me. And I guess having your ten year old spot was a good way to die. But still, like these people, that's not a good idea. It's nice to physically connect with your kids. You know, it's I mean, it's like you're always looking for ways to feel a little bit like to to actively feel close to your kids and not feel like you're all in your corners on your phones or that, especially the single parents. It's so easy to go into your, you know, that's your babysitter, which, you know, I don't say derogatory at all because we need it. Hear you. But you're right. There's also a space that you feel more open, like, I notice my boys when we all go on a hike together. They open up a little bit more. If you're in the backyard, you know, kicking a soccer ball with them, that's when they're like, oh, hey, mom, did I tell you X, Y, and Z? And it's like when I just ask them when they come home from school, hey, how was your day? What did you do? It's like radio silence. It's, you know, but then when you're out there, you're right. Physically doing something with them, it kind of opens up this communication, which is great. And lead by example is so true because I would sit and meditate all the time. Yeah. And I and then like I notice all the, my and there's like a kid sitting there next to me, you know trying to like meditate with me, which is super cute. It is. We might even, you know, when, when I started like our, our walking journey something that I would, I would never use but that it really what it was. You know, we just started out with like the I and I know that the 10,000 steps things has been debunked as a marketing thing in Japan, but like that was a great marker for me to like get a certain amount in. So like, our kids heard us talking about, like how far we were walking and like we would get competitive, my ex-husband and I with each other. Like, we'll still like, send each other like, look, I got 30,000. I got eight miles a day that time, which is fun. But our kids, just like in it, absorb that being around us. And we didn't never really force them to do anything that they didn't really want to do. Like, we we would make them try things. And if they didn't want to do it, it's fine. But this has been something that my dad would be like, I didn't she, she works at a doggy daycare and like, she loves that. Now, you know, part of that is like, she gets to walk the dogs, which for her is fun, and she'll come back and be like, oh, look how many steps I got today. Which, like, I'm so glad that for her, just being out and being active has become a part of her. Just her normalcy state of being, which, as you know, when I was a kid, like I lived in the suburbs, we drove everywhere as a teen, like, I could, I could I couldn't tell you when I was active or when I was not, but, you know, getting that time to I'd be interested in it. And then, like you said, we walked to the movies like it was a mile and a half walk last night to get to the movies that we went to. And it wasn't even a thought for her or I when we said, like, okay, well, movie starts at 815, like, let's get out of here at by seven, whatever. Because it's the, the, the normal thing is for us to like walk and get there and on the way, like there was great conversation and the way that I think some people in the suburbs who like, have kids and talk in the car because it's easier to talk when you're not looking at each other sometimes. As teens, we had that same thing, like one more walk. And I love, love, love when they want to walk with me. It's just the most wonderful thing. I just love how we're talking to I. We're talking about like, you know, all the different ways that it does bring community to you, even to loner Lily. It does sometimes bring community. Yeah. But, you know, I it is I, I find that, like, it is so hard to get things out of your kids sometimes, you know, it's so hard, especially as they get older. But to see how they're thinking and to they don't want to talk to you, exercise whatever form it takes. It's this kind of back door in and like this, you know, with with my son, it's, you know, I, I'm coaching his baseball team the first time I've ever coached anything. And the only reason I can, like, throw the ball around is because I've been working out and following Kristen's yoga for the past year or so. You know, anyone who wants to throw a baseball over the age of 40? You, Christmas and New me, I cannot. And it's not a joke, really. It's like night and day. I could not even lift my arm above my head like four years ago. I was so bad. I started doing this, working out. And then now I'm throwing balls into the outfield like it's. And I'm only getting older. Like, you know, I'm crazy. Like, I'm like 80 years old. Yeah. You're pushing it. It's a filter, Kristen. Just so you don't. That, by the way. Yeah. You're looking at a great filter writer. You take the filter away and it's Abe Vigoda. Like, that's a. Completely haggard Joe. Funny, but but, but doing that with him, like, I've gotten so much through that back door has it's such a great kind of communication thing with him. And he tells me these things and, and, it's a way to because it's I find as a single parent, sometimes you feel like you're closer to your kid and far from your kids at the same time. Like, and that's why it's a part of it. You're close to your kid because it's, you know, you it's you, you know, you guys against the world. But I sometimes feel like further in that there's like, there's a part of their life now that I'm not a part of, which is their relationship with their with your co-parent and that is distancing. And you didn't have that when you were just one group. You now have this distancing thing that can be a little intimidating and be a little sad. That I was going to say it's a little sad. But it's just there for all of us. You know, you know, that are actively co-parenting. And so having these little lanes and being able to, like, throw a ball around and hear about something, it's like, you know, that stresses. Yeah. And it makes it feel a little less, a little less distant considering I'm, you know, it's a sad thing to say, but you are cut out a little bit of a part of their life that you wouldn't have been if you were all still together. Well, let me reframe for you, Scott. Please. I love this every time really reframes for me because I think of things one way Lily's like, let's think about this positively. Well, I'm not like that. Kind of like, you know, toxic positivity person, but like, I do get jealous. Like when my kids do things with their dad, they're special. Like, movies are the thing with him. Like he it's been since they were little. But finding something that is just yours, I can build that same thing for you. So, you know, whatever he does with his mom, he does with his mom, and that's like special for them. And it's probably something they can hold on to. And like what? Like being able to throw out beats, but like, you're coaching his baseball team. She's not you know, that's super special. That you have and she doesn't. And like not that she comes to the games. She comes to that good. And it's like it's still it. You know, I've actually found that it's a unifier for the three of us. We don't always unify. You know that. That makes me so happy to hear that. So fitness brings people together. It really does in so many ways. I've spent the past year kind of amazed because at this point in my life and I think this is I know part of what you do, Kristen, when you're especially dealing with with your clients that are maybe over 40 or, you know, hitting especially that, you know, the body changes, you know, the hormonal changes that women go through. Like, you. Can say menopause, it's okay. It's got perimenopause in paramount. Perimenopause. We have uteruses too. Yes, yes. I feel like even men have a similar like shift. Like you were saying, I think women get this weird home, you know, things just start to change. You're right. And but I was I was really surprised at how I was able to start this up at this point, that it wasn't like, you know, sometimes you feel like, well, if I hadn't been doing it my whole life, like there's, John Irving is one of my favorite authors, and he writes about wrestling all the time and weightlifting. And he says in his books, he's like, you have to get obsessed and say, obsessed when you're young. And that's how you do it. And that was stuck in my head for so long that if I'm not obsessed at a young age, I won't be able to keep doing it. And it's been amazing how that's not true. Like, and. I'll say, like what you can do at an older age should change. Like for me, like the, you know, the kind of workouts I would do when I was younger, I can't not only can I not do them now as well, but what my body needs is different. Different, yes. And being able to adapt to that and listen to your body and, you know, find that somatic form of exercise where you're really into your body and listening to what it needs and responding to it is so important. But like, yes, there are things that you've done as a kid that can have positive benefits later in life. I know, even like my wrestling, I had a student who was a wrestler as like as a kid and in high school, and he's really good at doing yoga. He's good at stretching because in wrestling, they were actually they were taught to stretch. Not a lot of other sports they incorporated in. But I also do find that people can make these huge comebacks later in life, starting at zero. People who've never ran, who can then all of a sudden start to find a love of running, or people who start doing yoga later in life, or strength training later in life because they find out that after 40 you do start to lose muscle mass, and it's important to to keep that strength. Now, I definitely think that there's so many shades of gray, and for single parents to really take, take it as a time for yourself, whether it's with community or by yourself or with your kids. But make sure you put that into your schedule like you would schedule anything else, because the benefits are just so amazing. Like we've been talking about, that it's you really owe it to yourself. And I think your children or child because you become a much better parent. Well, and I think tonight, like, you know, first, those of us who are natural sleepers, I think you're absolutely right. Like you have to schedule it in. But where do you like what is your advice about? Like when you're journey is packed, like from the time you get up until you're you've got the dishes in the dishwasher, at the end of the night, like, what do you advise people to do to like, modify or to make time or like, are there specific things that you tell people to do? Well, even if you start small and you say, I'm going to dedicate 2 or 3 days a week, that's not so overwhelming, and you literally put it in your calendar, you know you are going to set a timer if it's going to be right after lunch, because that's your 30 minute window that you want to do some movement or right before lunch or right before the end of the day before you transition to your home, or if you can wake up early enough to, you know, maybe it's a 30 minute walk commute home or it's your 20 minutes of yoga first thing in the morning, or even ten minutes of chair yoga at work to just get into the habit of moving more often then those 2 or 3 days become, you know, maybe 4 or 5 days because you start to feel that snowball effect of just how good you feel when you're moving your body. So I think it's you start with like bite size pieces and you don't go, I'm not going to wake up at 6 a.m. every morning and run five miles if I've never ran before. For me, when I started running a marathon, it was two days a week and then one day on the weekend and I started very slow. I was nothing huge. That's what I think I was love to tell people. Like even with my strength training, I lift heavy a couple of times a week, but it maybe takes me 10 or 15 minutes max. I just get the heavy weights out, do a tiny warmup, do my routine and I'm done. So I think people need to realize that it doesn't have to be these huge, long, formal things that it can be, you know, 20 minutes, three times a week to start. Yeah. And then just build from there. You're not going to, like, completely change your diet overnight. You're going to start to incorporate more vegetables and then start to drink more water. It's just these little baby steps. Yeah. Like we do our children. Right? We do the same thing with our children. We don't expect them overnight to just start doing something differently. It's just a practice. And that's that's something I've thought about, like, but you know, food is important obviously, as you mentioned then like the rats being able to eat nutritionally, like when I'm alone as a single parent, I think that it's okay for me just to have like cheese and crackers for dinner, which I try not to do because I the way that I've made myself start to think about it is like, would you feed your toddler this like when you were trying to, like, feed and grow your kid with? Is this something that you would give them? And it's a it's it's sad but helpful, like thought about, you know, treat yourself as well as you would have treated your kid. Exactly. It's interesting. You know, like I'm sure this is probably a whole separate conversation we can have about food, because, like, I it's so interesting when you share. I mean, I don't share a ton of time. You know, I have most and most of the time. But when I don't, I don't make anything for me. Like, I just graze and pick because it's like, you know, I cook for him, I don't cook for me, and I just eat the rest of what he didn't eat. And when I'm by myself at that point, I'm like, I'm eating salami for dinner or, you know, whatever it is. Okay? Like it's, you know, it's so horribly unhealthy for me. But it's like, how, how how do you manage that? Like, how do you treat yourself with as much care as you treat your kids? It's like it's almost like I'm so busy being a caretaker that when I get a break from it, I don't even want to care for anyone, including myself. You know, that's a. Tough one because it is like this silly oxygen mask quote. You know, I, I notice, like if I don't prioritize myself first thing, if I don't do my meditation regularly like I've been consistent with, and then eat my healthy breakfast. And then. Cuddle with my boys, wake them up, make their lunches, get them ready for school, do their whole thing. I'm never going to be as good a mom. Like if I just wake up and I'm like, the first thing I do is like, go attend to whatever they need. Then I lose myself. So that's why it's so important to me to just prioritize, like giving myself what feels so good for me. And I know that it's my meditation practice. I know that it's yoga. I know it's breakfast, I love breakfast, it's my favorite time. Favorite meal of the day. And so if I, you know, I make a lot of overnight oats as a single parent, it's so easy to find healthy alternatives that you can like make your oats at night in two seconds, eat it in the morning, and I put protein powder in mine. So you get the protein and the carbs and you're set for the day. I'm having those like healthy go to meals or snacks on hand. You know, sometimes I do rely on a meal delivery service for salads. This amazing company called Sakara, it's a little expensive, but it's all organic and it's delicious. And I look forward to it because I know I'm not going to always, you know, have time to eat a really good, healthy lunch. So I'll rely on those little things that can really help out with with my boys and dinner. That's a tricky one, because I do find that like as much as I try and get them to eat the foods I'm eating and the healthier foods, they still love the chicken nuggets. And so if I'm going to air fry some chicken nuggets and fries for them, then that's when I might again rely on that healthy meal delivery service. Or I cook like Banza pasta with some flaked salmon and sauce, and it's really quick to put it together, but it's healthier than salami or cheese and crackers. Yeah, I know we're about an hour. We're like, we're chastised. We'll get you. Know. I, I don't. I don't I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I feel like a again with forgiveness. Not every meal should be salami alone. I know you're not the cooker, Scott, but one of the things I did this week, you know, the I don't know, like there's a baked by Melissa has this green goddess salad. Like I don't know if you've as it had some like internet virality over the summer but like I, I modify that and like I make I prepped everything for it and then I put it in a giant container so that like over the week, you just like, take out like the right amount of it for dinner or the right amount for. It's that I actually even take, you know, half an hour or whatever it is to prep that huge thing. Right? But that's I mean, I think for a Scott, like a hot tip, but you can do all of that ahead of time. What I find interesting about, like having to be a single parent for me is that I am not an organized person. I never was an organized person. And now suddenly I have to be an organized person. Super organized. Yeah. You just don't have a choice there. Yeah. What I ended up doing was I ended up prioritizing what I organize, and so I organize things for my son and make sure all his that. And, you know, once I make the same mistake, you know, the same oxygen mask mistake, you know, even beyond just treating yourself well, it's also if you're organizing your week, organize, if you organize your week, you're going to be able to organize their way. Organize better, their week better. Exactly. Yeah. And but what what I actually thought was really interesting is you're talking is both of you were talking is something that I think is so important to a to a single parent especially is that sense of something to look forward to, that sense of having these small wins and small pleasures. And you know, I'm it's true for everybody. But I think we feel so overwhelmed, especially, you know, person you have, you know, I think full time carry your kids, you know, like I do. And so, you know that there's a often that crushing feel of like, you know, that Groundhog Day of like, when do I get my, you know, when do I get me and you? It's so great that you're able to carve out your time in the morning. I happened to be. This morning I woke up to meditate. And, you know, my cat is on the schedule with me and always, like, wakes up and like, knows I'm going to feed him right when I wake up to meditate. And I was like, I woke up and I was like, oh, good. I get to go sit and meditate. And then I was like, I got to feed the cat. It was almost like this. Like, it takes no time for me to open up. But it was like that one more chore did it? Like, well, I have to feed the cat, you know, like, I love, like, I love you to death. But it was just like it hit me all of a sudden, like the groundhog moment. Like you're saying it's like, oh, it's like one more checklist of things to do. So it's like, that's why there's this quote that it's like, if you don't have five minutes to meditate and then meditate for an hour, you know, I that's good. I did something to that extent where it's like, you don't think you have five times, five minutes. You should be done meditating for an hour because it's like that. Meditation is what's going to actually organize you, like you were saying, in a way that it's just so funny. It's like you're more efficient. You're more productive. Yeah. You're that exercise that 20 minutes of or that walk that you take in the morning. You get so much more energy for your day. I don't always think about how fitness and exercise was also feeding that need of something to look forward to, especially if you can tie it into community, because it can be that whether it's the community of yourself or whether it's that walk with a friend, or whether it's that what I do with my girlfriend where it's like 9 a.m., we'll each get on and we'll do the same, peloton thing at the same time. Sucks. And yeah, and then, you know, we'll have our thing in and, you know, she I'm like, are you really doing it? Because I've done it with her in person. And I've noticed she spends about half the time on her phone and I'm like, oh, are you really? I'm like, she does it every day. So I guess I can't fault her. Like she literally she has a streak of three years straight every single day. So I'm like, I love that. I gotta keep up. You know? I do it three times a week and I'm a slacker, so, you know, I gotta keep up. But she loves it. Like. And what she loves is the validation. She loves the community. She loves when an instructor shouts her out. Yeah, because it makes her feel like, you know, it's something to look forward to and feel accomplished. Did she never get sick? Like not three years? That's the thing that to me. She's she's from East Germany. So, you know, different. She she is stronger than all of us put together. Love it. She is. She's dealt with the Stasi. Oh my goodness. Well, I think that's another question that I have is like, you know, when things were in the past. Like what? I've fallen off my, like, routine. It's because of something like that's beyond my control. I am not an East German who can power through Covid or whatever it might be. And like that can that will often be something that totally derails me and like, well, and as we're talking, you at the top here, you know, Scott, you didn't do your one day. That doesn't mean, you know, forever. But like, what is you know, how do you how do you manage that? Like getting over that mental hurdle of like, I wrote I was sick for a week and I didn't work out, like, what do what do you do? Well, I. Think it's a similar thing. You know, I was running consistently before the marathon, and then the marathon came and now it went. My running went. It's like gone. It's out, you know, but. And I'm like, I really need to get back into this running routine, or at least more cardio because I could do Pilates and yoga and strength till I love it. But so do I like to walk, but like to actually do a little bit of something that really gets my heart rate up is not my first thing I pick. Yeah. So to get back into it, like I just made this, you know, I just did one mile yesterday with my boys and I'm like, okay, we're just going to start very slowly again. It's like, you don't go from 0 to 100 after you've been sick for a week. You know, you might just pick up slowly until you get back up to where you were, or you give yourself that grace period to gently get back into what it where you were. So for me, I think, you know, similar to having like Scott can't relate, but you can relate very similar to having children. You know, you took your ten months to build it, to grow a baby. Yeah. It's not going to bounce back into whatever you were in. A. Month or it took me like two years after having you, my twins, to literally get back to where I felt really comfortable in my body and physically, like, fit again to be. I didn't really care if I looked the same or fit into the same pair of jeans, but I just wanted to feel strong in my core and feel stronger in my body and cardiovascular leave. And so I think we just need to remind ourselves that, you know, time is on our side. We need to be patient with ourselves and there is really is no like destination. This is just a journey of us trying to continue to feel better. So that's that's great advice. Yeah. So we'll wrap it up here then. But Kristen, thank you so much for coming on. This was thank. You. This this was great conversation. So helpful. I know I. Hope so. Now really like you have so many great insights. And this was really helpful and just a great conversation. And I think. It's so nice to talk to you. I would love to do this again. This is fun. I think next time we bring you on to talk food because a food conversations. I'll even tell you like little mini meals that I make and. Jesus. Hey you. Scott needs it. Okay? Lily's like I'm I'm Persian, I don't need I know. Food, but. Scott needs it. But, anything you want to plug or talk about? I know you've got the Chris McGee movement. Yeah, my website is Chris. I'm making a movement, and I'm working on building that community. I have Substack, which is also just Kristen McGee and I share newsletters and insights and blogs and recipes and fitness tips and little meditations. And then my Instagram is Kristen McGee. Yeah. You have great Instagram. I love your. Instagram, I. Appreciate it. I love how you kind of meld the, you know, you meld the fitness with the parenting and for I think for our audience especially, it's a great place for you guys to go go check out. It's a really, really nice place to to visit. Thank you. Well, Lily, any last thoughts besides making fun of my cooking? No, but I have my leggings on because I did not do my walk earlier. I planned on doing it immediately after we're done. I'm going to go sit down. I'm sitting down and doing my cardio right now. Okay? My. We're doing it.